Teen Wolf Remake In The Works. Sigh.

Sometimes it’s difficult to stay positive. Moviehole reports that Warner Brothers is in the early stages of putting together a Teen Wolf remake. They’re going out to writers now, so if you’ve got a comedic take that uses lycanthropy as an allegory for puberty, now’s the time to tell your story to a guy in a suit. Maybe you could argue for casting Jaden Smith, if he hasn’t already committed to be the male lead in an equally unnecessary Teen Witch remake.

I can be patient with remakes; if there’s a good story to tell, then sure, go ahead and do it. But Teen Wolf was a product of the ’80s in the same way that the Jonas Brothers are a product of Satan. You can’t catch the same lighting in a bottle. OK, it was more like a spark of static electricity, but without a budding star along the lines of Michael J Fox, who anchors this movie? Robert Pattinson? Zac Efron? Not a chance.

The original told of a scrawny kid who sucked at basketball and how his fortunes turned around when he realized he was the child of a werewolf. Cue forty minutes of Michael J Fox looking like the long-lost fourth member of ZZ Top, slam dunking the ball and scoring chicks with his wolfitude. It abrely played in 1985 and didn’t play at all in 1987 when Jason Bateman got to play Fox’s cousin in Teen Wolf Too. Let it die. Better yet, someone cast a couple of silver bullets now, before it is too late.